I FELT LIFE - FROM THE OUTSIDE!!!!!!!!

At work yesterday, my coworkers (who talk to "Sprinks" everyday) decided to bum rush the belly with their hands and the kid put on a SHOW! What a flirt! I personally do not know whether or not that particular roll was gas, but it was really exciting for them. Being the skeptic that I am, I didn't want to tell my hubby because I was scared he would be upset. Later on the bus I was pressing hard on the right side (should I be doing that?) and I got a "YO! Arm push" it freaked me out so much that I flinched and I woke up the sad/sleepy Morgan Stanley guy next to me (sorry dude!) I don't remember smiling that much in a very long time. It was creepy. Like Jurassic Park style. It really freaked me out. I went to dinner with my mom and after eating spicy food (HELLO CRAVING, SIRACHA ON EVERYTHING PLEASE) - Sprinks was doing a full on performance. It was cool that my mom got to feel the baby kick. That totally made me deserve the Reeses Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard I ate in bed, right?

LET IT GO!

Lately I've been feeling very aggressive. Like a warrior. I don't know why. I get defensive and I also get really protective. Like legit, this is some beast of the wild stuff. I guess it goes back to the caveman days. I was in the elevator visiting my friend Elise at 10:30p the other night, yes with a pizza box in my hand. I had already inhaled a full slice (the roof of my mouth is officially GONE) and was waiting to eat my other slice in her apt when a precious little jappy bitch was like "omg I'm SO jealous." I was like what are you jealous of? The pizza? She's like "omg no, I can't wait to eat whatever I want when I'm pregnant." I don't know why that made me want to punch her in the face, but it did. And the other day, this guy in the parking lot rolled his window down and was like "HEY! You're driving like an asshole, don't be a jackass." I'm like ummmm you're in the middle of the lane buddy. His kid was sitting next to him! I am Mrs. Pottymouth galore, but something in me, this maternal instinct was like BAD BOY FOR TALKING LIKE THAT INFRONT OF YOUR KID. So I left a passive aggressive note on his Mercedes "Hey man, life doesn't need to be so stressful. And I'm not a jackass. I didn't even hit you. Relax." VICTORY

21 WEEK PHOTO SHOOT WITH MARLBE RYE PHOTOGRAPHY

Thank you to the incredible http://marbleryephotography.com for these amazing pictures!!

20+ weeks! LAST PAIR OF JEANS STILL FIT - BOOYA!

Had my 20 week check up today. Gained 16 lbs so far! Dr says I'm doing great and wants me to gain a pound a week. That's hilarious. I'm the height of Snooki, where is the weight going? I'll be a Weeble Wobble! Babies heart rate was 150 today. The Dr had a hard time catching up with the baby to find the heartbeat which was a REALLY GREAT FEW SECONDS FOR MOM. But he found it, and told me the baby is super active. It's probably because I dragged my womb to an Australian teeny bopper concert last night and there were screaming girls. Like a lot of them. Anyway, things are good. I'm less moody now (even though I did leave a passive aggressive note on a guy's car who called me a jackass). I'm super sleepy which is something I did not miss. All I want to do is crawl into bed. I've switched my work chair out for a big ball. It's so relaxing and comfortable and keeps my core engaged. It's really great if your lower back hurts. Also, LISTEN UP PREGGOS - go out right now and buy a pair of HUDSON stretch pants. I'm in my normal size and they magically stretch with my new body. I don't know why they are so awesome, but I'll take it. Unfortunately they are bright green so I can't rock them everyday. GO get em! Worth every penny.

HALFWAY MARK

As we hit the halfway mark, it's only fair to look back at the most exciting news we have ever been able to share. Look at these classic reactions.

19 WEEKS

IT'S A..........

Today was the BIG test - the 20 weeker! All organs are in their right place and the baby even did a wave for Grandma. We do not want to find out the sex and the technician and Dr were very careful not to slip (probably because we reminded them an obnoxious amount of times). My brother surprised us and showed up also, which was UNREAL. So awesome. Babers looks like an adorable little alien with a button nose and big ass feet. I've gained 4 lbs since my last appt (bye bye wedding dress) and I'm really starting to waddle. This heat is absolutely repulsive. Thankfully we got a little break today, so I can still wear pants. We got a great report from the Dr, all is well in Casa de la Womb. Cravings this week: Spicy Food Citrus Skinny Cow Dreamy Clusters (so random)