LET IT GO!

Lately I've been feeling very aggressive. Like a warrior. I don't know why. I get defensive and I also get really protective. Like legit, this is some beast of the wild stuff. I guess it goes back to the caveman days. I was in the elevator visiting my friend Elise at 10:30p the other night, yes with a pizza box in my hand. I had already inhaled a full slice (the roof of my mouth is officially GONE) and was waiting to eat my other slice in her apt when a precious little jappy bitch was like "omg I'm SO jealous." I was like what are you jealous of? The pizza? She's like "omg no, I can't wait to eat whatever I want when I'm pregnant." I don't know why that made me want to punch her in the face, but it did. And the other day, this guy in the parking lot rolled his window down and was like "HEY! You're driving like an asshole, don't be a jackass." I'm like ummmm you're in the middle of the lane buddy. His kid was sitting next to him! I am Mrs. Pottymouth galore, but something in me, this maternal instinct was like BAD BOY FOR TALKING LIKE THAT INFRONT OF YOUR KID. So I left a passive aggressive note on his Mercedes "Hey man, life doesn't need to be so stressful. And I'm not a jackass. I didn't even hit you. Relax." VICTORY