PROTEIN = SUPERHERO

I decided to be healthy today for lunch and got an egg white wrap - it was from this place called FUEL which is amazing, but they give you 6 egg whites in your wrap, which is like...aggressive. Anyway, it's been an hour since I ate it and I literally have such a burst of energy and I'm fine and happy and cheery and BOOM - sucker punch to the gut. I have been sitting here in pain for the last 10 minutes straight as my child decides to practice for UFC fights inside my body. Like did the protein give him or her super powers? I feel like freakin Bella in Twilight with Renesmee trying to bust out Holy hell.

You KNOW You're Pregnant When....

You are eating a box of cereal while in the bath, and that's not even the sad part. It's when one Quaker Oats Square falls in and you take a few seconds to decide whether or not it's acceptable to eat.

HOLY HEAT WAVE

Oh I don't do summer. Like, no no no I do not do summer. I hate it. I think it's the dumbest season. I hate sweating. I hate being hot. I hate only eating fruit and yogurt because anything else will make you balloon up. But entering my 6th month of pregnancy with this PSYCHOTIC WEATHER SITUATION? OH I'M NOT HAPPY. No no no no no. I am NOT a happy camper. Commuting to NYC from NJ in 90 degree weather while pregnant is just about the shittiest you can ever feel. Especially because the escalators are broken. So today, in my too small for me, just give it up and wear maternity clothes body - I hiked up a broken escalator, FULL ON wedgie AND camel toe up to a SHIT STORM of human traffic. The line weaves in and out five times over with sweaty, disgusting bodies who are sticky and smell like armpits. Add to that my heightened sense of smell and easily irritated demeanor? Oh no no no no no.

23.5 weeks!

Baby is ON THE MOVE! Elbows, knees, rolling - definitely on a schedule though. I usually get lots of movement right in the middle of an important meeting :) Love it.

NIGHT TIME IS THE WORST

How was your sleep last night? Good? Did you dream of bunnies and ice cream? Cute. I spent my night on the couch, spread eagle over a pillow in a bra and underwear sitting up and trying to breathe. It's so effing hot out and we live in a house without central air, so I had two fans blowing in my face at the foot of the bed for three hours before I retreated to the family room to mope. I sat in the living room half asleep panting and trying to breathe like I just finished Varsity Soccer practice. HOW THE HELL DO COWS LIVE OUTSIDE IN THE HEAT!?!?! This baby is moving non stop all night and my chest is so tight I feel like a sumo wrestler is crushing me! And I'm only 22 weeks along!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU SUMMER.

BELLY MEETING GREAT GRANDMA!

Such a miracle to be able to be able to show MY grandma my belly and tell her that she will be a great grandma. How lucky.

AWKWARD PREGNANCY MASTERPIECES

this will NOT be happening. http://www.buzzfeed.com/jerrysoda/awkward-family-photos-pregnant-masterpieces